Innocence and nostalgia

Remember a time when the world wasn't like the way it is now?

There was respect, honour, trust and loyalty, but most of all, simplicity.

Most, if not all, of those traits don't seem to exist anymore today.

Whatever happened to leading a simple life, free of complications whatsoever? One that was simple, good, honest, but most of all, true? We all seem to get caught up in so much drama and bullshit that we could very well do without, but no; we still find ourselves in complicated, confusing, bitter, tense or awkward situations where what's done is done, but the memory of the past lingers on like a menacing threat; a haunting, murderous monster intent on breaking your will and shattering the remnants of your mind before it goes in for the kill; lying subdued, but simmering at the back of our minds, harshly repressed and buried deep in order to avoid a cathartic explosion of emotions and actions that could possibly destroy us.

Whatever happened to trust, honour, respect and loyalty? We seem to have foregone that in favour of a quick fix. Instant solutions to instant problems. We don't need to hang around for anything anymore - there's always something else out there that meets our needs better and faster. We discard things just like we do old broken toys - without a second thought, without a second look back; and it's all forgotten in a flash.

Whatever happened to thinking things through, before making decisions and doing things for the sole purpose of going further to something more, instead of instant self-gratification? Why do we all do things without thinking twice about the consequences, both on ourselves and others? Now, we seem to act before we think, all with the purpose of immediately fulfilling our instinctual, even animalistic, desires. There's no such thing as waiting anymore - if the opportunity's there, we grab it; no questions asked and no second thoughts.

In a world gone mad, those are the only things I have left: trust, honour, respect, loyalty and an appreciation of the simple things in life. After all, the latter is perhaps the one that makes us happy, in a society cluttered with so much garbage that's impossible to avoid wherever we go and in whatever we do.

But I'm determined to remain grounded. Nothing and nobody will compromise my values, beliefs and standards. I will do whatever it takes to defend those things that I hold dear. That I promise myself.

Six degrees of separation

"You know, my friend's brother's friend's cousin's boyfriend's sister..."

Sound familiar?

The theory of six degrees of separation posits that everyone is, on average, approximately six steps away from any other person on Earth. That is, any two people on the planet can be connected on average in six steps/links or fewer.

You might think it's strange and profoundly impossible, given the Earth's population of nearly 7 billion people spread across all 7 continents. But in an increasingly interconnected and globalised world fuelled by technological leaps and bounds in communications, where artificial barriers are lowered or abolished, allowing information, capital, goods, services and people to be universally mobile, that notion is becoming more of a stark reality than anything.

Especially when it hits you close to home, on a personal level.

8 Simple Rules...Revised

The previous 8 simple rules that I live by have been revised to include 8 more. :)

1. Nobody's perfect.
2. Everybody's different.
3. Never be emotionally swayed; always be stoic.
4. Nothing lasts forever.
5. Nothing ever happens for a reason; life is random.
6. No matter how hard you try, there are some things in life you just can't control.
7. Don't change for anyone or anything; be yourself.
8. Never give up.
9. Everybody has a past; secrets, regrets and skeletons in the closet.
10. Sometimes, your past doesn't define your present.
11. Everybody has a dark side; they're just good at hiding it. Too good, sometimes.
12. Never judge; each to their own.
13. Sometimes, there's no such thing as a second chance.
14. Sometimes, we have people in our lives, just so we can learn to live without them once they're gone.
15. The only people you need in your life, are the ones who prove that they need you in theirs.
16. Passion fuels the fire that burns in your heart. If you absolutely love something, go for it and don't look back.

To do or not to do...

Which are we more likely to regret: something we did do or something we didn't do?

Are we more likely to regret that drunken late night phone call, or not telling a certain someone how we really felt about them before they left?

Working at a job that we don't enjoy, even though it pays well, or not following our dreams and passions, even if it's hard to etch out a decent living from them?

Choosing to leave in order to chase our dreams, or choosing to stay for the sake of loved ones?

We all do things that we regret, and we all regret not doing things as well. But which of the two are we going to wish we had a second chance at: of righting wrongs and undoing past mistakes, or seizing opportunities that are probably never going to reappear in our lifetime ever again?

I'd say, if it makes you happy, go for it and don't look back. :)

The Pursuit of Happiness

I know what you're thinking: it's missing Life and Liberty, as the phrase goes in the US Declaration of Independence.

But...happiness. What is it, really?

Is it having everything we need and want in life? Be that fame, fortune and/or maybe even someone else by our side?

Is it being able to wake up every morning with a smile on your face, without a worry in the world? Or maybe even waking up next to a special someone?

But why do we strive to be happy?

Why do we do anything and everything in our power to be happy?

I guess, happiness comes from having meaning in our lives. Something to live and breathe for. Something to fight for and protect. Something that makes us want to get out of bed each morning, and that puts a smile on our faces as we fall asleep each night.

Happiness comes from knowing we're not simply on this Earth just because we happened to be born into it. That we're contributing and making a difference, no matter how small, and no matter to whom or what. That we mean at least something to someone and cannot leave the world without significantly impacting on their lives, be they friends, family or lovers.

But could we still be happy, without all of those things?

Loneliness

Sometimes, the loneliest of people are the ones who are surrounded by the most people.

You'd think otherwise, but no. The more people there are, be they family, friends, acquiantances or strangers, the more distant and lonely one can feel.

In a fast-paced world where everything seems to zoom past in a flash, it's easy to get left behind all on your own; when you want to slow down, but the rest of the world demands that you catch up.

That's when loneliness kicks in.

You'd rather stop and stare, while the rest of the world flashes a quick glance before moving on. You're standing still, while the world's a blur of people moving all around, not taking notice of you or knowing you even exist. You'd rather take things slowly, while everyone else urges you to move quickly, in a world consumed by instant self-gratification and narcissism. You're the only sane person in a world gone mad, the voice of reason amongst a collective chaos of noise, lies and foolish decisions.

More often than not, however, the best company one can have is simply oneself. Just you and you alone, whether it be lying on the bed staring up at the ceiling, or sitting at the beach watching the waves and the gazing at the infinite horizon.

But then again, two's company and three's a crowd.

Maybe with a close friend by your side, perhaps enjoying a deep conversation or staring in companionable silence at the empty space in front of you. After all, silence is golden; sometimes the best things are said when words aren't spoken at all.

Loneliness isn't when you're all alone by yourself. It's when you're all alone while being surrounded.

A little something...

It's not about the breaths you take or the breaths you take away.

It's how you breathe.

What you ought to be, what you can be, what you will be

Be strong enough to know when you are weak, and brave enough to face yourself when you are afraid.

Be proud and unbending in honest failure, but humble and gentle in success.

Never substitute words for actions.

Don't seek the path of comfort, but face the stress and spur of difficulty and challenge.

Learn to stand up in the storm, but have compassion for those who fall.

Master yourself before you seek to master others.

Have a heart that is clean, and a goal that is high.

Learn to laugh, but never forget how to weep.

Reach into the future, but never neglect the past.

Be serious, but never take yourself too seriously.

Be modest, so that you will remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, and the meekness of true strength.

From General Douglas MacArthur's Sylvanus Thayer Award acceptance address. Credit goes to American Rhetoric for the speech. The full text of the speech is here.

Fate vs. Free Will

The eternal question. Are we in control of our own destinies and futures, or are there deterministic forces that are out of our control and render free will an illusion?

You could argue that we're in control of our lives and thus our destinies. If anything, we make our own Fate. Everything that we do and all the conscious decisions we make directly affect us, with consequences that sometimes cannot be foreseen. You could take the view that nothing in life happens for a reason. That whatever happens, happens. More often than we'd like, things happen to us that simply have no shred of meaning, no matter how much we search. Such random things puzzle us and make us question the existence of Fate. Would Fate will such things upon us? I think not.

It would be naive, however, to think that we are in control of absolutely everything. Of course, there are some things in life that we just cannot control, no matter how much we wish we could. Like whether you'll do well on an exam or test even though you've studied your arse off and did the best you could. Or whether the object of your affections feels the same way about you. Or whether you'll win a scholarship or competition you've spent months preparing for. Those things are out of your hands. Not in Fate's hands, but in the hands of the other party/parties: the examiner; or the one you admire; or the judging panel. The voice of Fate isn't nagging at their minds, telling them what to do, feel or decide. It's all up to them, and nobody else. And if things don't turn out the way you hope they do, well then what can you do? That's that. No use thinking it's Fate, because there were two parties involved; and Fate was not one of them.

But at the same time, it would be much easier to base everything that we do or that happens to us, good or bad, as the will of Fate. It's like making an excuse for things; just because Fate willed them, we push the blame onto Fate and refuse to take responsibility for them. It serves as a strange sort of refuge from the harsh realities of the world; like "I'll leave it up to Fate" or "Fate had it that I did this/that this happened to me and I'll have to accept it."

Imagine a guy's about to suicide. He jumps off a building, but miraculously survives the fall, albeit with serious injuries. It's not unreasonable for him to think that perhaps Fate willed for him to live, not for him to end his life so abruptly. He then concludes that he's been given a second chance at life, and proceeds to then make the most of it while he still can.

Of course, it would be easy in that case to believe that Fate really does exist. But then again, what if, just by chance, he happened to not fatally injure any vital organs as he landed, thus ensuring his survival?

We can choose to believe either one of those theories; that Fate really did give him a second chance, or he just so happened to not sustain fatal injuries. But will we ever really know? I don't think so.

I guess all we can do is stick to whatever comforts us in the relevant situation. Whether it is accepting the will of Fate or acknowledging other real-world factors that are beyond our control, we seek refuge in trying to find a reason for what happens in our lives. Depending on different circumstances, we tend to believe in either one, but sooner or later, we realise that we can never really be sure of which one exists and which doesn't.

Shall we leave it up to Fate or Free Will to decide that?

The Riddle of It

It can make you whole, or tear you apart.
It can raise you up, or bring you to your knees.
It can make a hero of the meek, or a fool of the arrogant.
It can put you on top of the world, or bring you down into crushing depths of despair.

They say that if we are raised devoid of it, we will never know it.
With it your days are brighter, but also clouded in grey.
It transcends all sense of logic, and casts aside rationality.
In its presence, everything else seems to disappear.

It has the power to heal, but also the power to hurt.
It has the power to redeem, but also the power to corrupt.
It has the power to ignite wars, but also the power to cease them.
It has the power to forgive, but also the power to avenge.

Even if we had a million reasons to leave it, we would still find one to stay.
Even though it may be small, it can still fill gaping holes in our soul.
Even when breaks us, we end up being stronger than ever.
Even though we may give up on it, it never leaves us, or forsakes us.

We all seek it, but become powerless and vulnerable in the face of it.
It is our greatest strength, but also our greatest weakness.
We would give up anything and everything for it, and it for us.
And sometimes, in order to find it, you have to stop looking for it.
What is it?