Fighter: A Poem

Another one I wrote, at home this time. :)

Fighter

Beaten down and broken
About to come undone
Abandoned by my brethren
I lie among the fallen
And see the lights of heaven.

My strength will never falter
My resolve will never waver
My will shall be my armour
For I am a fighter, ready as ever
In the face of the enemy, never will I quiver.

As I begin to fade
I am not afraid
Then I ask myself
What do I have to live for?
So much, I cannot ignore.

Hope and faith
They live in me like wraiths
They keep me going when all is lost
Yet never let go when I know I should
They are my greatest allies in whatever I do
But at the same time, my greatest enemies, too.

"Let go, surrender," says one
"Keep holding on," the other whispers
"You are spent, gone and done
Death, you cannot outrun,"
Hisses one.

"But," says the other
"You are a fighter
You cannot give up
Finish this fight
It is your birthright
Rise, unflinching warrior
The battle lies yonder."

I turn away, and run from the lights
To burning cities, unfinished fights
The bitter foe, a blight I must smite
For I am a fighter, fearless as a knight
A battle ignites, with the enemy in my sights.


This one perhaps best exemplifies what I strive to be: a fighter in everything I do. Indeed, hope and faith are my greatest allies, but also my greatest enemies at the same time, too. A blessing and a curse, but one that is imperative for survival in this harsh world.

Why "The Notebook" sucks

Just watched The Notebook last Saturday. I'd heard a lot from people that it's really good, they all cried watching it and whatnot, so since it was on TV I decided to watch it and see what the fuss was all about.

Guess what.

It sucks. Balls.

It was ridiculously unrealistic; honestly, who in their right mind waits 7 freaking years for someone? And when you're young and stupid, you don't know what that silly thing called love is; relationships don't last very long and moreover, aren't deep at that age, even more so when there's a huge distance between the two.

In reality, if two people were to have a summer romance, then part ways after that, and not have any contact whatsoever with each other over 7 years, surely they would have moved on, if not forgotten about them?

The two lovebirds claimed that "what [we] had was real."

Yeah, real my ass. Like the two of them, at that age, would know what real love is. Like love at first sight even exists in the first place. Consumed by passion and nothing more, that was really all they had.

If the movie was being realistic, then when Allie went back to Seabrook to visit Noah, she would've just found out that even though it really wasn't over at that time, and he really did write to her, except her mother kept the letters from her, she's moved on and is about to get married to someone else. At the most, they would've remained good friends, knowing that they once shared something.

But that wouldn't make for the soppy, formulaic, romantic movie that's bound to rake in millions and bring girls to the cinema in droves and have them leave in tears, now would it?

Hollywood blatantly exploits the emotional powerhouses of the female demographic, sacrificing quality for monetary gain. And that's why I like indie/arthouse movies better than a lot of mainstream commercial movies. Sure, I don't mind the occasional mindless shoot-'em-up action movie (as long as there's a comprehensible plot and awesome effects :P), I enjoy some thrillers, sci-fi, fantasy, even the occasional drama, and I adore the 'not-exactly-old' classics that I grew up with watching over and over again countless times...........but romance? I reckon that's the one genre Hollywood does badly. There are of course, a few exceptions, such as Casablanca, but really, Hollywood still has a long way to go in perfecting the art of the genre.

Hey, let's not forget that The Notebook was based on a novel, by that ever-popular romance writer Nicholas Sparks, author of fellow weepies Dear John, A Walk to Remember, Nights in Rodanthe, etc, etc. But check this out (click on it for a larger view):

Seems the writing world has a long way to go too. Don't say I didn't tell you so. :)

Credit for the picture goes to Cracked.com. :)

Fame

Fame. Is it a blessing, or a curse?

When the word 'fame' comes to mind, so do images of cameras flashing and almost blinding you, fans screaming, journalists clamouring for a word or two, paparazzi stalking you, walking down red carpets, talk show interviews on TV, your face on the cover of magazines, and so much more. You can't ask for more than that, can you?

But with every bright side, comes the dark side.

The dark side of fame is a trap that far too many famous people fall into. From descents into drugs, alcoholism and attempted suicides, they're all to try and grab the attention of a media that is no longer interested in them. But why?

Once you have fame, you can never get enough of it.

In other words, fame is a like a lethal drug. It can bring some high moments, but it can also drag you down into crushing depths of despair. Famous people who've managed to avoid controversy that could bring them into the limelight have so far avoided the dark side of fame and have managed to be famous only for the right reasons. But those who are nearing the end of their fame desperately cling on to it, and turn to its dark side in the hope that it can bring them back into the limelight once more, only to fail most of the time. Clearly, fame's an addictive drug. But sadly, there's no cure for it.

Insanity

It's official. I'm insane.

Really, I am. Or at least I think I am.

I wish I could just go someplace else, somewhere far away from here, and leave everything behind and forget all about it. Friends, family, life, everything. Destroy all connections to my previous life. That life is dead and gone.

Start afresh, in a place where nobody knows me or where I come from. Where I can finally start life anew and forget the past like it never happened in the first place. Where I can probably live in relative solitude and peace for the rest of my life. Bliss.

Tuscany, anyone? :)

Here today, gone tomorrow

Without evil, we wouldn't know good.

Without hate, we wouldn't know love.

What if, we had people in our lives, just so one day, we could learn to live without them?

People walk in and out of our lives. They gain importance in our lives, or lose it gradually or even suddenly, as time goes by and things change.

Perhaps, people walk into our lives, so that one day, we may learn to live without them when they walk out of our lives. I mean, they're all gonna leave us someday, aren't they?

Believe me, that time will come. Regardless of promises made or steadfast loyalty displayed, it will come.

Maybe the saying's true: don't worry about the people in your past, there's a reason they didn't make it into your future.

Then again, I don't believe anything in life happens for a reason.

People come, people go. There isn't really a reason why, is there?

C'est la vie.

And there ain't nothing we can do about it.

Forever

Forever is a lie. Since we don't live forever, we can't expect to say that something lasts/will last forever. For example, that tired old cliché of "I'll love you forever" or "True love lasts forever".

Utter bullshit, if you ask me.

We're all hardwired to have some wanderlust in us. That's the difficulty of remaining in a monogamous relationship; humans, like most animals, aren't born to find and stay with a partner for the rest of their lives. Everybody will wander, or at least think about wandering, at some point in a relationship, because we were born with that instinct. It's the hard, but inevitable truth, and one that's not easy to swallow. It's hard to honour a monogamous relationship without straying. Feelings fade over time and that's why relationships end and the two parties go their own separate ways. Even if the feelings don't fade, the spark that was initially there will eventually die out, and things will never be the same.

"I'll love you forever."
"No you won't."
"Really, I will."
"Bullshit. Nothing lasts forever."
"How do you know?"
"We don't live forever, and well, things change. You never know."
"..."

"Promise me you'll love me forever."
"I can't promise you that."
"Why not?"
"Because nothing lasts forever. Not even love."
"..."

Sorry to rain on your parade, all you lovebirds and hopeless romantics. But that's the sad reality of the world and one we all have to face.

Morale Lost: A Poem

Morale Lost

Neither a patriot, nor a traitor
In no man's land, alone I will stand.
For with no-one to trust, I have nothing to fear
In the silence and emptiness, no cries I shall hear.
As the cold wind howls, the quiet becomes no longer
The eagle's eyes, like that of a wanderer.
Against the grey skies, I tread this blood-sodden ground
But I feel no pity, for no peace I have found.

I am broken, but I am not shattered
I am bruised, but I am not beaten
I am lost, but I will find my way
This land is in despair, but I am not without hope
But my back is turned, for I believe no more
That this battle has a cause, worth fighting for.


Just something I wrote when I was bored in class one day. :P This is probably my favourite poem out of the many I've written. :)

From the outside looking in

They say, no-one knows you better than you yourself. But sometimes, I think other people know me better than I know myself. Strange, isn't it? It hardly seems right that someone else knows things about you that you don't even realise about yourself. People tell me things about myself I don't even realise until then. They analyse my opinions and actions and point out flaws which I never would have seen.

Perhaps it's the same for all of us. We need other people to judge, critique and analyse us, like a scientist keenly examining a specimen under a microscope. There is no more impartial opinion than that of another. Sure, we may know ourselves and how we think, but it is those from the outside looking in that know everything; the good, the bad and the ugly. Everything we would never see in ourselves, as much as we search and analyse. In our minds, there's always that other viewpoint that counteracts whatever we may find negative about ourselves, turning it into something positive, when in the eyes of another, it isn't so. Like the angel and the devil playing with our conscience, duelling in a psychological battle that's bound to end badly. The mind plays tricks on us to think that we are right, perfect and justified in everything we think and do, when really, we aren't.

Perhaps the true selves of each and every one of us remains a perpetual enigma to our own selves. We can never judge ourselves, for we are always biased, no matter how impartial we may try to be. We are either too lenient, or too harsh on ourselves. I guess the best way would be to have an outsider look in, and tell us everything they see: the good, the bad and the ugly.

What defines us

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
- Confucius

We don't accept challenges for no reason at all. We accept them knowing that we might fall; and when we do, it is how we deal with it that defines our character; whether we sit there and wallow in self-pity, or pick ourselves up and rise to the challenge once more.

Rising again after we've fallen is harder than rising to the challenge for the first time. Often, when we fall, we fall hard. Hard enough to crush all our hopes and dreams, and instill in us distrust, fear and hatred. Picking ourselves up after such setbacks defines our character more than the setback itself. In comparison, the setback would seem insignificant, like a fly on the wall, a little nuisance in the way, once we rise up again and eventually succeed in our endeavours. Of course, we may not succeed the second, third or even the fourth time we try again; but it's how we never give up each and every time we fail that matters more than the failures themselves.

Nobody's perfect. Everybody falls, some harder than others. But it's how we pick ourselves up that matters.


"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me."
- Batman

Who would've ever though Batman could come up with a good quote like that? :P

Sure, we may say all sorts of things about who we are underneath to others, but when it comes to actually proving those, it is, indeed, what we do that defines us. We might say that we are brave and loyal and would do anything for our friends, even take a bullet for them; but if a gun was really pointed at them one day, would you actually step in front of them and take the hit? Would you risk losing your life and everything you've ever known and hold dear, just to ensure they live one more day, or, in the pressure of the situation, completely forget your promise and simply watch on as the gun fires and they fall slowly to the ground, bleeding?

Indeed, the important decisions and choices we make in our lives define our character and who we are. We are judged not by what we say, but by what we do. In other words, our character may be who we are underneath, but it is our actions that show and prove it to the world.

Memory

Memory. Without it, we probably wouldn't exist. It is because of memory that we know who we are and our place in this world. We are shaped not just by our genes, but also by our surrounding environment, and the way it shapes us, is because of our memory. We remember all that goes on around us and are profoundly affected by it, whether we realise it at the time or not.

But sometimes, memory is a curse. There are of course, many things that happen in our lives that we just wish we could forget about completely and banish from our memory forever, but that cannot be. It is these memories that scar us for life, and permanently imprint themselves into our cerebral cortex. We cannot voluntarily forget about those memories, no matter how much we try. Our memory stores those moments and events, but no matter how much of a conscious effort we may make to ignore them and not recall them, sometimes they inevitably spring into our mind's eye, and along with it, all the anguish, torment, pain and fear that we experienced at that time. It's like reliving that very moment we wished we had never gone through. Like going to hell and back again.

But then again, memories shape us, and who we are. No matter what may go on in our lives, if we didn't have a memory, we wouldn't be who we are; we wouldn't grow as people and change; we wouldn't feel pain, love, hate, loss, grief and all the other emotions that every human being experiences. In other words, without memory, we can't call ourselves human.

As the old saying goes, time heals all wounds. Is it true? Perhaps. But the scars left behind remain with us forever.