8 Simple Rules

Those rules have been running through my head ever since God knows when. So I thought about it for a while, and now I've decided to write them out to make them clearer.

So, these are the 8 simple rules, in no particular order, that I live by:

1. Nobody's perfect.
2. Everybody's different.
3. Never be emotionally swayed; always be stoic.
4. Nothing lasts forever.
5. Nothing ever happens for a reason; life is random.
6. No matter how hard you try, there are some things in life you just can't control.
7. Don't change for anyone or anything; be yourself.
8. Never give up.

Sticking with those rules have helped me through pretty much everything life's thrown at me so far. And I'm ready for the many more that will come. :)

Go on, lie to me

Lie to Me - 12 Stones

Our candle burns away
The ashes full of lies
I gave my soul to you
You cut me from behind

Nowhere to run and nowhere to hide
You're scared of the truth, I'm tired of the lies
'Cause who I am
Is where you wanna be

Don't act like an angel
You're falling again
You're no superhero
I found in the end

So lie to me once again
And tell me everything will be alright
Lie to me once again
And ask yourself before we say goodbye
Well goodbye
Was it worth it in the end?

You said you were there for me
You wouldn't let me fall
All the times I shared with you
Were you even there at all?

Nowhere to run and nowhere to hide
You're scared of the truth
I'm tired of the lies
'Cause who I am
Is where you wanna be

Don't act like an angel
You're falling again
You're no superhero
I found in the end

So lie to me once again
And tell me everything will be alright
Lie to me once again
And ask yourself before we say goodbye
Well goodbye
Was it worth it in the end?

Why'd you have to up and run away
A million miles away
I wanna close my eyes and make believe
That I never found you

Just when I put my guard away 
It's the same old story
You left me broken and betrayed
It's the same old story

Don't act like an angel
You're falling again
You're no superhero
I found in the end

So lie to me once again
And tell me everything will be alright
Lie to me once again
And ask yourself before we say goodbye
Well goodbye
Was it worth it in the end?

Lie to me once again
It's the same old story
Lie to me once again
It's the same old story

Was it worth it in the end?


Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQQyv8Ix5Qk


Lies. Betrayal. Unreliable relationships. Letdowns.

Everything that makes you question why you even bother making friends in the first place. Sooner or later, they're just gonna turn their back on you. Then you go and make other friends, and it happens all over again. It goes in a cycle. Makes you wonder if you're better off just staying out of it in the first place.

So is it worth it in the end? I don't know.

Lone warriors

I reckon everyone's a lone warrior at some stage in their life. Y'know, when you're all alone, yet you rough it out and make it on your own, without anyone else's help. And when friends say they'll always be there for you? Well, truth is, sometimes they just aren't, and that's when you have to go it alone. More often than not, you end up motivating yourself to keep your head up and get through it. But in the end, you emerge stronger, and with a different perspective on life; you become more independent and stoic, but at the same time, more wary and less trustworthy of those around you. You're gonna need it to survive in this cold, harsh, dog-eat-dog world. You're being naïve if you think anything less, or otherwise. And that's a fact.

Lone warriors. From the missing soldier finding his way home, to the one, insignificant human being trying to rebuild their life from scratch all by themselves because everyone's abandoned/given up on them. Don't tell me they had people by their side helping and supporting them, chances are there weren't; I may not know people who've got through similar situations, but I'm willing to bet that it's happened before.

To all the lone warriors out there, I salute you all. You are the true meaning of independence and survival-of-the-fittest, in this world where few can be friends, and fewer can be trusted. Cheers. :)

First week back

First week back at school wasn't too bad. Waking up on Monday was the hard part though; the alarm blared and my mood sank immediately. These holidays didn't feel long enough. Maybe it was 'cos I was busy doing quite a bit; from driving lessons to movies to Easter camp. Plus, there was a crapload of homework as well, which as usual, the teachers didn't bother checking once we got back. >< So much for putting in effort in year 11, when you're expected to be serious and the teachers are just slack. -.-""" Geez and I thought it was the other way around.......not that I'm slack but you get the point. :P

Well I guess what really made me reluctant about returning to school was the monotony of it all, and the environment as well. Somehow I hate the atmosphere of school. In my year level there's way too much drama going on (see previous post), it's awful. Honestly, if there were another school as good as Glenny in terms of education and with nicer/less bitchy people, hell I'd move there right now. Like I said, I don't need all the crap that goes on at school 'cos it's just distracting and plain stupid.

Wow, that last paragraph made me realise, school's actually REALLY boring. From year 11 onwards, you aren't in a fixed class anymore and you're with different people every single period. It's good for making friends (something I don't do often and I'd really rather not), not so good for maintaining friendships with those who don't share any classes with you anymore. Well I'm the kinda person who prefers a few close friends to many acquaintances, so there. The structure of classes in year 11 really isn't for someone like me. To be honest, it's pretty horrible.

Anyway, enough of rambling. As I'm typing this, my bro and a family friend are playing CS and blowing the heads off bots. Oh well. I'm probably gonna go and take a nap now since there isn't much to do. See y'all later.

Drama

I hate drama. Real-life drama, that is. Really, I do. The only thing it's good for it's gossip, and even then gossip is petty, time-wasting talk. But somehow everyone does it for conversation's sake; it's unavoidable.

Drama is something we can all do without in our lives. Yet it comes about from misunderstandings and fights, and the end results are usually crying, screaming, backstabbing, bitching, and more often than not, fistfights. It could all very well be a script for a television soap opera. Except it all happens in real-life, so it's much worse.

Most of all, we don't need all that bullshit. If only human beings could all get along, life would be so much easier and drama-free.

But who am I kidding? Not myself, that's for sure. That was just idealistic thinking, and as everyone knows, being idealistic almost never helps; being realistic does, and a whole heap, too. Let's face it, human beings are flawed creatures that have not, cannot and never will get along and find peace throughout their entire era of existence. We have conflicts, squabbles, disputes, wars and whatnot.........and yes, you guessed it, it's all real-life drama.

Call me cold and possibly nihilistic, but humans are gonna die out one day not because of some large meteorite striking the Earth and blocking out the Sun, but because one day, all our various dramas, from our disagreements to wars to global warming (which we brought about because nobody's doing anything about it) are gonna add up and ultimately become our undoing; in other words, we end up killing ourselves. Sad, ain't it? Then again, it's probably humanity's real fate.

Is there anything we can really do about it? I don't think so. As I mentioned earlier, we're seriously flawed creatures.

And we can't save ourselves.

The real reasons behind heartbreak songs

Ever wondered what the real reason was behind a heartbreak song?

I mean, think about the song Breakeven by The Script. It's sad enough to melt any girl's heart, yet surely, there had to be a reason behind the breakup.

Maybe it was something he said or did. Or didn't say or do. Maybe he changed. Perhaps that was why she left him.

Or was it all her fault? Perhaps the feelings just faded away, and she fell for someone else and left him standing there?

Sometimes it amazes me why people sing about heartbreak when they don't address the real fault behind it; I mean, shouldn't it be about trying to get some closure and moving on, instead of being perpetually sad (most songs put it that way) and just holding on to any last shred of hope, begging and pleading for them to come back?

Maybe we should start replacing heartbreak songs with apology songs; the ones that actually say sorry and try to move on, instead of pining for a lost love that will never come back.

Anyway, here are the lyrics for Breakeven, by The Script: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/script/breakeven.html

Ideas, ideas, ideas

You know the saying, great things come to great minds. :D Except my mind isn't particularly great in any way, but well, you get what I'm talking about here, don't you? ;)


I opened the large, ornately decorated double doors, and almost immediately as I stepped into the blackness of the hall, spotlights - hanging from a ceiling much higher than I imagined - flooded the middle of the hall, revealing a small band of musicians on a small, low circular stage, and in standing in front at the bottom of the stage, was Tyler.

"Ty...what are you doing here, what's going on?" I hurried up to him and embraced him.

"Well, it's just a special something for us...though it's more for you."

Without another word, he took my hand and held my waist, and the band was off.

I instantly recognised the music; it was Love of My Life, by Santana and Dave Matthews. I couldn't help but smile; it was one of my favourite songs.

"I knew you'd always wanted to dance to this." He twirled me around.

I chuckled, "Either you're a mind reader, or I must've told you in a daze."

I stared hard into his deep brown eyes. With every passing second we were dancing and the music was playing, I found myself getting even more lost in him; and I wasn't looking for a way out anytime soon.

As expected, the tempo of the music changed, and before we knew it, we were dancing to the rapid pace of the music, as the mood changed from slow and romantic to fast-paced and frenzied. It was almost as fast as a salsa, except it was a waltz. I'd never felt a bigger rush in such a lone environment, it was almost surreal. Countless spins, twirls, and lifts followed, and as the song reached it's climax at the end, Tyler suddenly pulled me close, and our faces were mere inches apart. Breathing heavily, I grinned. He gave me a piercing, yet gentle look. This wasn't over yet.

This time, the only music came from the piano. Once again, I recognised the song; The Scientist by Coldplay, with its unmistakable riff and haunting melody.

Once again, we did a slow waltz.

"You know, this song gets me every time I listen to it," Tyler confessed.

"Really?" I chuckled as we slowly glided from one part of the room to the other, all the while remaining under the glow of the spotlights in the middle.

"Yeah, really," He smiled slightly, almost a half-smile, and I was only close enough to spot it. "It's weird, every time I hear it I get this sorta cold and warm feeling, I dunno, it's hard to explain."

"Why, though?" I was curious now; Tyler was seldom one to be moved by a song, let alone this one.

"Well, it makes me think that I'm never good enough for you, but somehow, you still stick with me."

"Oh please, why would you think that?" I was genuinely surprised, almost to the point of scorn.

"Well, it was hard on you, when I moved away. You know, absence makes the heart grow fonder.....and it really did. I just felt...helpless, I guess, when I realised that...you...you'd stripped me down to my core, and with-without you, I was...nothing," He was rushing his words now, speaking so frantically that I struggled to keep up. "I was just powerless, vulnerable, and...I felt really bad for leaving you behind, even though you were always there for me. But I can't say the same for myself...I just had this horrible feeling of guilt, and I really wanted to just say I'm sorry a million times over, a-and just go back to when we-"

"Hey, hey, Ty, shush now," I held my finger up to his lips. "There's nothing to be sorry about, honestly." I cradled his cheek in my hand and stared directly into his eyes, firmly yet tenderly. "It's okay, I'm here with you now, none of that matters now. It wasn't your fault and never will be, yeah? It's perfectly fine. I know, as much as you try to be there for me, you can't always be. I mean, that's when we've both gotta be strong and pull through, without each other. But of course, I knew I was always on your mind, and you were on mine too. We may not have been there in presence, but always in spirit, if you'd like to put it that way."

"Yeah." Tyler whispered genially.

I smiled, and looked away, reflecting on the ironies of life and our situation. "You know, it's pretty strange that whatever's on your mind, whether it's some economical, environmental or political crisis that's happening around the world, the one thing that really gets to you is that someone you fancy. Don't you reckon so?"

He stared hard at me for a moment, and swallowed. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

I guess that was all he could really say at this point. But I knew his answer to my question was a definite "Yes"; either that or it was simply rhetorical. I hated to say it, clichéd as it was, but my heart melted right then and there.

"So are you," I replied, smiling gently.

We leaned our foreheads against each others', and laughed, as the song continued to play and we danced. I was never one to be swayed by surprising romantic gestures like these, but like Tyler, this one had gotten to me. Now, I was the one who was powerless in the face of love.

Ideas, ideas, ideas

Listen to Here Without You by 3 Doors Down while reading this.

I got up to the mike, stealing one last glance at him before we started the song. I signalled the band. Josh began picking the melancholy opening melody. Then I came in; I started to feel the song, and began to let it get to me, the true meaning behind it; the heartache, the pain, the undying love; I began to feel everything Brad must've felt while writing it.

"A hundred days have made me older,
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face.
A thousand lies have made me colder,
And I don't think I can look at this the same.
But all the miles that separate,
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face."

I looked at the crowd gathered at the amphitheatre, their once rowdy and wild mood now transcended into one of respectful silence and solemnity. I turned my gaze to him; he was looking at me blankly, as though the words I was singing and my evocative expression didn't mean a thing to him and didn't have any sort of impact on him. But I knew full well what was on his mind; at that moment he was just trying not to show it.

Dave and Aaron soon came in on drums and bass, respectively. As I continued to sing, I felt the song's power and hold on me grow ever stronger, to the point where it was almost overwhelming. But I gave in, and let it consume me as we moved into the chorus.

"I'm here without you baby,
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby,
And I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you baby,
But you're still with me in my dreams.
And tonight, it's only you and me."

Then we reached the bridge, and now, there was no holding back.

"Everything I know, and anywhere I go,
It gets hard but it wont take away my love.
And when the last one falls,
When it's all said and done,
It gets hard but it won't take away my love."

Josh's soaring voice came in and belted out the bridge, as I provided the harmonising vocals. It had all been leading up to this moment; I closed my eyes and imagined in my mind's eye, everything that had happened between us; the quiet moments and one-on-one conversations, the jokes we shared, the music we both loved, the way one cheered the other up when they were feeling down.

All that came down to the one thing, that revelation - and the following argument - that nearly destroyed all of that. I would've loved to say that nothing had changed between us, but the truth was, we were no longer the same to each other. We both saw sides of each other we had never previously known existed and said things we never would've said, with one of us going to bed nearly broken and unimaginably angry, hanging by a thin thread that would snap even if a feather of another blow landed on it; that one, was me.

With all that in mind, I took a deep breath as I joined Josh, and soared above him, my eyes still shut so I wouldn't see the reactions of the audience, and most of all, him. It was almost cathartic, just singing the harmonising vocals. It was like letting everything out; all the heartache, the pain, and the undying love; what the whole song was about. About me. I was taking that huge burden off my chest and laying it out for everyone before me to see and understand. Now that I wasn't keeping it in anymore, I felt light and unencumbered; it was the feeling of freedom.

I held my last lyric of the bridge long and hard, moving it between different notes, unlike in the original version of the song, for this time it had my personal touch to it, since I wasn't just singing it; I was feeling it. After all, the song represented me.

We repeated the chorus one last time and finished the song. Then, the amphitheatre suddenly loudened up again with the screaming cheers and applause from the crowd. I smiled, and looked at the once again wild crowd, and turned back to my band, grinning from ear to ear.

"Great job guys, we showed 'em," I said.

"Man, you were awesome, what were you thinking?" Josh said to me.

I merely chuckled, as I turned back and faced the crowd, still cheering wildy. Once again I glanced at him; this time, his expression was unreadable as he applauded with the crowd, though he saved his cheering out loud. I thanked the crowd as they started to dissipate and head off in different directions to their classes or lockers.

But he stayed behind. As we packed up and chatted about our performance then, he came up to me.

"Hey, you were really good just then," he said, though slightly awkwardly.

I looked him in the eye, my gaze piercing; unflinching, unsmiling.

"You sing better with a broken heart."

Without another word, I turned my back and went to help the others.

I left him standing there, just as he had done with me.

Another idea: Leaving.

"Don't leave," he whispered, almost pleading. "Please. I'm......I'm sorry."

I watched on, unmoved. He didn't believe in what he said. He said it only because I was close to death, seemingly in the futile hope that my fading will to live would suddenly re-emerge and overpower the toll that the injuries had taken on my body. If I came back, everything would go back to the way it was before; it'll be as though the accident never happened and I wouldn't be here in the hospital on my deathbed; nothing would change. He simply didn't want someone he knew - but never really cared about - to die. I knew he didn't mean it.

Without another thought, I left.

The electrocardiogram sounded that long, dreaded beep.

"No...." he murmured. It took a second for him to realise what was happening. "No, NO!"

I smirked on my way up to heaven. It was about time he felt what it was like to truly lose someone, anyone. Ultimately, I wasn't looking forward to living anyway. Not as though my absence would leave a wounded, gaping hole in the hearts of those whom I knew on Earth; even if it did, it would heal rather quickly, perhaps quicker than most wounds.

Medical staff rushed into the room, and hurriedly escorted him out as they tried to revive my now-lifeless body, to no avail.


Just another idea I'd been playing around with. It's obviously not a full-fledged story, just an idea for one.

Currently listening to: Breathe - Ryan Star.

What if........?

What if........

You went to bed one day wishing you'd never wake up again, and your wish comes true?

Watching from wherever you are in the afterlife, would you regret your decision to leave so suddenly?

Would you start to miss the life you had on earth, even though as you fell asleep, you felt ready to leave it all behind?

Or would you watch on blankly, unmoved, or even glad, that you're gone, as everyone you ever knew struggles to come to terms with your sudden departure? Or, like I said earlier, would you start to regret your decision?

Given a choice, somewhere between this life and the next, would you stay, or would you leave?

Just something I'd been pondering over the last couple of weeks.

Currently listening to: Beautiful Day - Saving Abel; from the album Saving Abel.