Insignificant humanity

"From this distant vantage point, the Earth might not seem of any particular interest. But for us, it's different. Look again at that dot. That's here, that's home, that's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam."
- Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space


That's all of humanity and its history on less than a pixel of an image, captured from 6 billion kilometres away by Voyager 1.

On that "Pale Blue Dot", as that picture has come to be known as, against the vastness and blackness of space.

If you think about it, we're all...insignificant. All our wars, troubles, joys, despairs...on that tiny, almost unnoticeable blue dot seemingly in the middle of nowhere.

All of seem to think that we're important, that we're special, that we matter.

The "Pale Blue Dot" shows us that we aren't. Not one tiny bit.

What I'd give...

What I'd give to be here...

Beachy Head and Lighthouse, East Sussex, England

Grimstad, Norway

Keswick, Cumbria, England

Glenridding, Cumbria, England

Lake Mapourika, New Zealand

Florence, Italy

Life

Life is overrated.

Not one day goes by, when I don't question my existence on this Earth.

I didn't ask to be born.

I wasn't screaming from the dark depths of some invisible space to be born into the world.

I haven't been given the gift of life. I've been given the burden of it.

The burden of having to live at least another 60 years.

The burden of having to go through all that life has to offer. The truly worthwhile moments of which happen to be out of my reach. While its dark, unforgiving, cruel aspects are so very near, I could reach out and touch them. And all would be lost.

What am I doing here? I'm just taking up air and space on this Earth.

Life. I never asked for it.

"Nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it'd be worth it."

Bullshit.

It's not worth it.

It's not all that it's cracked up to be.

Now I just have to wait till the day I die, for it all to finally be over.

Have a little faith

Faith.

You're not supposed to understand it. You just have it.

People question why I keep so much faith in you.

It's because I dare to believe. I dare to hope.

I dare to believe that you can achieve much more than you think you're capable of.

I dare to hope that everything will work out in the end.

But most of all, I dare to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself.

Remember: Have a little faith.

Not necessarily in a higher power, but in yourself.

You may let yourself down, but you'll never let me down.

Because I'm right here behind you. Always.

Don't you ever forget that.

Cruel memory

I hate my memory. I really do.

I remember things I don't want to, or even need to for that matter.

Every little shameful, embarrassing, humiliating moment.

Guilt. Regret. Denial. Doubt. Worthlessness. Distance.

Every single feeling of it.

I remember them all.

Even worse, I can't seem to remember the things I need to most.

Important things. Like schoolwork.

Unless schoolwork starts to destroy me from the inside out, eating and chipping away at my mental defenses, I may never be able to remember everything that I need to.

Because, memories may fade. But scars last forever.

Goodbye, Steve Jobs

"Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
- Apple Inc.

"Think Different." That was your company's motto.

R.I.P. Steve Jobs. I may not be a huge Apple fanatic (the only Apple product I own is an iPad 2), but neverthess, I recognise that the mark you left behind was indelible. You changed the way technology worked, you changed the way we looked at it and used it, and through that, you changed the way we lived our lives. In short, you changed the world.

I'll never look at my iPad the same way again. It'll be a stark reminder of what the world has gained, but lost as well.

Once again, R.I.P. Steve Jobs. You will be sorely missed.

Nothing: A Poem

Nothing

There is nothing you can say or do
To make me change my mind
I need to be free from these ties that bind
Go away! I don't want to see you ever again
Lest I be trapped once more in this ghastly den.

There is nothing you can say or do
To turn the clock back
The time has come, and this will soon be but a flashback
Secretive and rich, a little scary
You were ever the mystery.

There is nothing you can say or do
For the hour has passed, it is too late now.
These transgressions, I cannot allow
Enamoured in your grasp, consumed by your power
It wasn't long before I was torn asunder.

There is nothing you can say or do
For tonight I take my leave
No longer do I believe
The deceit in your voice, the lies in your eyes
Alas, now I say my goodbyes.

Another idea

"No..."

"Oh yes."

"Who are you? What have you done to her?"

"Nothing. She and I are one and the same. Always have been, always will be."

"Then...then what are you?"

"I'm the evil that haunts every dark corner of your mind. The demons of your unconscious come alive."

"No...this can't be happening."

"Oh, but it is. And I've been waiting for this day to come."

"No, you can't be real."

"Oh, but I am. I'm as real as it gets."

"But...how is it possible?"

"You created me. I am a part of you, your mind, heart, and soul."

"No, no, no. This is all a lie. If you're part of my mind, and I created you, then I can just as easily destroy you."

"You may have created me in your mind, but I am very, very real. I'm a living entity in my own right. And there is nothing you can do to stop me."

"No, get away from me. You're not real, you can't be. You're only in my mind."

"But I'm real enough to finish you off. You're mine!"

The thin line

"It's simple: there is good, and there is evil. The two sides are opposite, as different as day and night. And the line between them is clear. Or at least, it's supposed to be."

But is that all that simple? Is that line between them as clear as it's supposed to be? Or is it blurry, allowing for plenty of grey areas?

It's a thin line between good and evil. And maybe one that's impossible to find, too.

In the world of fiction, there are plenty of characters who display antiheroic or byronic tendencies, ones that blur the line between whether they are to be regarded as heroes or villains. Does one good deed make a serial criminal a hero? And does sadistic torture inflicted onto the vile, cruel criminal undeserving of life by the righteous hero make them, well, a villain?

Here's where moral ambiguity comes in.

None of us are strictly good, nor evil. We have both in us, with one side being more prominent than the other, manifesting itself in us as we go about our daily lives. This leads to us being judged on our actions as either good or evil. But in reality, everything we do, from the decisions we make to the people we meet, everything, is neither right, nor wrong.

Rather, they are both, because ultimately, good and evil are subjective; what is righteous to one may be regarded as pure evil by another.

Taking revenge on someone who has wronged you in the worst possible way? Some would applaud you, while others would be appalled at your lack of compassion and forgiveness. The former would regard you in high esteem for dishing out your enemy's just desserts, while the latter would condemn you for sinking to your enemy's level, for being cold-hearted, unforgiving and ruthless, just like them in every single way.

Things in life are never really clear cut; they are always polarising. So what are we, really, if we're neither good, nor evil? Where do we really stand, and whose side are we on?

Since we fall somewhere in the middle, then we can only assume this:
We stand alone, on nobody's side, but our own.

Change

Things change.

Funny how they do.

Breaking promises you once made. Forgetting people who once mattered. Doing things you'd previously told yourself you'd never partake in. Going from being confident and self-assured, to lost and confused, as you realise you're just not cut out for certain things. Leaving the past and everything you once knew behind.

It's the end of an era and the start of a new beginning. Or it could just be the beginning of the end. Depends on how you look at it.

Inevitably, it's all part of moving forward in life.

Things change.

Sad, but true.